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Writer's pictureStand-Up Comedy Historian

Kid-Friendly Egghead

Updated: Dec 17, 2023

Before Inside had even premiered, I was obsessing over Bo's fantastic poetry book (and audiobook!)—Egghead or, You Can't Survive on Ideas Alone.



If you haven't read or listened to Bo's book yet, it's full of his clever wordplay and witty turns of phrase. However, it is also full of profanity and sexually explicit language (which is totally fine for adults, obviously).



My issue arose when I was trying to show my then-7-year-old daughter a few funny and age-appropriate poems, but I had some difficulty finding them easily.


As such, one of my ideas that will never happen is a kid-friendly version of Egghead. I know people hate censorship and bowdlerization, but I'm suggesting a poetry book you could easily share with kids in the classroom.


I think I just really want Bo to be like Shel Silverstein or Jack Prelutsky were in my childhood!



The poetry book even has Lin-Manuel Miranda's seal of approval!


One of his poems in Egghead made my kid laugh harder than I've ever seen a kid laugh (they're not all suitable for kids but this one was.)


Anyway, here's my list of child-appropriate pieces in Egghead. Enjoy, and please share these 100+ poems with any kids you know who like sardonic humor (I know I was one!).


All of the poems can be found here. And if you'd like to purchase your very own copy of the original Egghead, it's available on Amazon here!


Egghead, a Kid-Friendly Version


Effortless

A Dog's Poem

The Squares

Magic

I Eat Words

On Poets and Farts

Flowers

Alfred

Suits

Sully (tongue-twister!)

Fitting

You

My Rabbit's Foot

Onion

Gangly

Advice

Can I Have a Word?

Angel

Toast

The Letter

Rock Bottom

Us

Baby Turtles

Cup of Joe

Entrance

Nine to Five

Pumpkin

Disembodied Heads

Benches

Count of Six

The Commercial

Homonyms

There

Lou

Another Day on the Ant Farm

Armadilla

Different

Three Little Words

Playground

Vampeers

Split Decision

Bee Guys

Hold the Cheese

This Hour

Secret Ingredient

Touch Me Back

Life

TreeHouseTree

Above and Below

Senator

Boston Poem

Sharks

Sasquatch

Light Up

Wind

Timmy

Scarf

Preposition

Judge Jesus

Fireflies

Rollersnakes

Silly

Perfect

She Waits

All Clear

The Biker Gang

Linda

From the Puppy's Perspective

Conversation

Heart Surgeon

Nothing

Stars

Hello, My Old Friend

:'(

Gypsy

Don't

Woman

God

Mannish

Ashley

Clowns

Look

Let's See What the Robots Think

Plate Spinner

Drink Umbrellas

Be Patient

A Wonderful Day to Be Dead

Up Above

Offence

Wooden Soldiers

Walk with Me

Listen

Youth vs. Man

The Future

Old

Cyclops

Sea Monkeys

Knots in the Grass

Her Eyes

Hobgoblin

Like

Bustle

You There (you can hear the "Who's on First?" influence)

Forever and an Instant

Third Person

Stuck


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